=^.^=

       " this is your life; be who you want to be "

It's October again.

Let me feel. I dont care if I break down.
Let me fall even if I hit the ground
And if I cry a little die just a little.
I've become much too good at being invincible.
I'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool.
But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be.
I refuse to let my life roll over me.
So let me feel, I don't care if I break down.
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground.
And if I cry a little, die a little,
at least I know I've lived just a little.
I wanna be somebody.
I wanna face the things that I've been runnin' from.
So let me feel, I don't care if I break down.
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground.
And if I cry a little, die a little,
at least I know I've lived.

It's October again. leaves are comin' down.
One more year has come and gone,
And nothing's changed at all.
-- Bethany Joy Lenz.

let go.

you kept walking away &  my heart  r a c e d. 

your disappointment aches in me, still I chase it . 

I hold on. you've let go. hollowing my existence.

i've been e r a s e d . scratched away. burned away.

        [  f o r g o t t e n ;  ]

empty eyes. scarred heart. shattered pieces. fallen.

alone. this was me. because of you. miserable.

useless. b r u i s e d  a n d  b r o k e n . un-pretty.

thanks. 

           thanks for not loving me enough. 

for breaking me at my worst

i've forgotten you now.

     " you're nothing but trouble for me"

"Forget former things; don't dwell

on the past." Isaiah 43:18.

Paths

The rain falls as I walk along the grainy sidewalk, alone. Each drop gathers at my feet, and I watch them stream into puddles. Even the raindrops know where they're headed, so why don't I? I hold my head up toward the clouds, and whisper to myself...

"God I know You're listening. Show me the right path."

I feel lost and confused, then I realize as I walk this journey of life, I am alone. NOT entirely alone, I DO have my One and Only Father. He has plans for my life. Knowing my strengths and my weaknesses, my faults and imperfections. Nobody can tear down the dreams I hold for myself. Not a man, not my parents or friends. With Him, I know which steps to take next, and where my dreams lie. I've been holding this heavy umbrella over my head and my heart for too long, and now is time for me to close it. Follow my heart, and listen to God. For He has wonderful plans for my life. He sees me doing amazing things. I will not allow myself to be less than I am to meet anyone's expectations. I am me, and that's all I can and will be. I have learned the art of hope, and love, but most importantly faith and I'm growing in that like a work of God's art. FAITH ; when you come to the edge of all the light you've known and are about to step out into the darkness; Faith is knowing one of two things will happen. There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.

Today I greet the day with new eyes, a new smile, and a new heart. I'm trusting in everything I have.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
- Proverbs 3:5-6